A woman’s most secret desire to love

Corner of the stairs, down the stairs and the man upstairs, I pass.Suddenly, the man stopped, looked back, blazing with anger, I was staring straight back.After about three seconds, the man turned back, blah footsteps slowly crescendos further away.I am 37 years old, yet marriage, general manager of the commercial department, now on leave to do physical beauty in a city hospital.Five consecutive days, I encountered the same man at the same time in the same place.The man lanky, vivid facial features, every detail of the body are filled with jade tree charm.When the man leisurely came up to me, poor me Biede breathless, urgent wants disk head hair dissolved, let long hair black like waterfalls down, as soon as those not quite cover the neck finish delicate, can expose the true age of your skin.Usually I would never like shawls hair, long hair in the wind flurry in my age somewhat like a desperate death throes.I always kind of hair comb all kinds of beautiful hair, high bun Yi in the head at least be able to prop up the little self-confidence and pride.Although this support was a bit bluff.September 10, I correctly remember, that day is Teachers’ Day, I left most brilliant career under the sun has 11 Spring.11 years of wind and rain long road, much traveled inn, seen how much the landscape, the most beautiful thing that initially the small campus.September each year, that sunny place, crystal clear period of years, will be turned into a genie flew unsteadily in front of me.I can remember the year that many students love the white dress, a talk on the blush of female teachers.So far I have not received a student’s greetings and best wishes when.In the afternoon, I was napping.Years of business ups and downs have been deprived of my nap leisure, at most, confused for a moment alone on the bed or sofa, so that life presents temporary half awake state.Such thinking will be in a light gesture of freedom fly.The phone rings, pressing the Answer button, as chilly mountain spring water sweet voice immediately flew out: the teacher do?I Yile, are you okay?I’m fine, how are you?I am a mother.Really happy for you.Elegance is most proud of my students.When the city’s liberal arts college entrance examination to the good results of the second was admitted to Beijing University.Everyone thought she’d walked down this ivy-clad Strip, overflowing with colorful floral palaces, how many pairs of eyes delighted admiration butterfly chasing behind her.When no one expected she graduated from breaking bright future requirements to poverty remote Dabie Mountains to work.I’ve had parents entrusted Elegance, advised her to give up this silly idea, I run away now become accomplices Elegance.I will never forget Elegance wide open, like the stars shining eyes and say.It is a very simple words: I love him, I love to have willingly turned into ashes, to mention just let it go mountain life.what is love?A song, a dream, an impulse.Even if the song over and over, the dream will wake up, the impulse will be calm, I will be happy to sing, dream, so that the soul tremble.I smiled, and shook his head sheepishly.The subconscious action reminds me of the forest.Whether joy or frustration, he shook his head Lin will.Years has left a mark, and I’m heaven and earth, it has been a full 10 years apart.His breath still everywhere.Lin is a name that I tore.I do not want sad, I looked at the clock on the wall, pointing at 6:10.I decided on the 6th floor restaurant.Fullness to go melancholy.At this point, I do not know how many years can dream of knocking the dust-laden emotional life passion has quietly kicked off.I closed the door, upstairs, downstairs pass with a man at the corner of 4,5 House.I feel the man’s eyes turned a corner staring at her straight Lengleng De.It will be the people who know it?I turned my head and saw a man has been turned back, but the corner of my eye is still squinted own.Viewed from the side, smiling lips affects men, that a white teeth, jade shell-like, so cute, too, that a little false taste.I did not stairwell mind this little episode.In this large-scale hospitals, numerous events occur every day.Large human life and death, a small roll of toilet paper to the whereabouts of.Numerous incidents in the vast majority of the trivialization of boredom, occasionally brilliant.Once, a lady look middle-aged woman knocked on my door, come up with a sausage-shaped things, secretive fell on my ears, while Giggles aside and said: You do not know how wonderful it , one hundred men are not worth it one that can meet your requirements at any time, the never tired.I vaguely understand what she meant.What I thought even if I need to, but also body and soul, no feeling that things count?I feel a cold bug crawling on his back dirty, it was disgusting.I’m pointing to the door, please leave this woman.Woman stared at me for a moment, raised neck, snorted, lips floating deep contempt.In one afternoon, I hear met across the room to prepare for cosmetic pock-marked qigong masters in the name of development work and four female nurses were flirting moan.And these weird things than it encountered a man on the corridor what they count?Although I have nowhere to place thousands of tenderness, but after all my rational, mature, elegant, I can not for the little affair on the corridor or cardiac care.I have to spend money to hospital every year to do a lot of physical beauty, bent tightly grabbed the tail of youth linger.The so-called beauty of the body is deprived of excess body fat, rubbed his face wrinkles, pigmentation, sagging bags under the eyes cut.I’m obsessed with obsession like beauty, to be exact obsessed with cosmetic surgery.Yeah that knife, gun ah, ah needle across the body, if there are numerous bird flying out from the depths of my body, flying fluttering sound is dizzying Sound.The hospital, I found the front of the hospital stocked with a large lawn, pure grass in England, soft, fresh, green lawn.I praised the grass of beauty director general practitioners beautiful, Director of smiles, said: Li ah, ah this have your credit.Over the years you can made a considerable contribution to our hospital.I was pondering the big moment, did not taste the chief physician in gratitude or ridicule.Everything is caused by profound loneliness, a few years ago to earn money desperately, every cell of the brain are filled with money-related numbers, symbols, information, and have actually no such sentimentality.After the money has to reach a certain number, I desire to make money is close to zero, if not take into account the interests of employees and the enthusiasm of several assistants, I really want to own rich resources of the company closed down.Right now, I just walk away a boss, I am solely responsible for the company’s two vice president.Hong is the sister of laid-off textile workers, street introduce my company to do the cleaning.She either dumb, like do not say anything, either Zhangxuduantan tough day, always slender balsam pear face clouded.There is a very superstitious vice president, said that such a long-suffering face all day appears very unlucky in the company, resigned bent on her, I could not bear.A cold morning, I find it difficult to get to the office early.I saw the rainbow sister’s face reveals a festivity flushed, humming a song while doing the cleaning.I was surprised, to say the rainbow sister happy event today, what do?Rainbow sister like a girl as young and ignorant bowed his head, said: Today is my husband and I got married 20 anniversary, he quit smoking three months bought me a ring.You see, pounce.Field in college son sent me back a telegram to congratulate.Nice, Hong sister, bless you.Today you will leave and go home.I was very moved, took out 200 dollars from the wallet and handed rainbow sister: go buy a cigarette to her husband.Young watched the rainbow sister suddenly back, my heart suddenly fall into the abyss.I found myself kind of envy and even jealousy Rainbow sister.There is a accompany her 20-year smoke still willing to save money to buy a gift for her husband!There is a college in the distance still remember his son lived parents wedding anniversary!This is how true and profound happiness ah!Of course, no shortage of men around me, these men can be divided into two categories, one for my company, housing, money, full of strong interest, assiduous; all this is a class full of fear, at arm’s length.This is my sorrow.I do not want no Resentment.I first met in elementary school when the word home.I asked the teacher’s house meant.The teacher said home is men, women, kids love each other.what is love?Love is – the teacher know that I grew up in an orphanage, and sometimes stunned aphasia, but his hand gently stroked my face.I had the first feeling of being touched, what a wonderful feeling ah!Probably that moment, the longing for family and love is like a seed buried deep in my marrow, and together with the years grow into a tree, spit green Phi green.I have not given up hope moment.I make my home warm and full furnished.I love to stay in the kitchen, cooking seriously.Cooking process produces pure woman make me feel.Boiled fish head soup, that pot of white as snow, thick strong as milk soup, reminds me of spotless feelings and passion for the future of a cavity; peeling garlic peeling onions will cry, it means own a pile sad love, stir-fried vegetables, vegetables color from green to yellow, it makes me think of the fragile and humble life.Once I had ideas of a woman’s feelings dish, invite a bunch of girlfriends sharing.An elderly married girlfriend took me by the hand, said emotionally: men are blind you?Such a good girl actually JobHunting?I spoke, my eyes actually some wet.The old lady who called Yaya Zuiyi Pie: What marry?Today, men have a few good things?Married not out whoring.Wife as concubine, concubine as prostitutes ah.Miss Yaya, you are ready to prepare a wife or prostitutes do it?As long as Aunt willing to do anything!Seeing the two war of words will be upgraded, and another called sub-nan of single women looking Niexie said: man is it so important to you?I am pure, a person is not alive and well?To do men?